We're off to see the Wizard
by Captain Alfie
Summary: Inspired by Cliodhna's '40 things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts Fic - Written as a 'we got chapter one up' celebratory present for Caketin - Marauders' third year - A jokey oneshot fic


_Inspired by Cliodhna's '40 things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts Fic - Written as a 'we got chapter one up' celebratory present for Caketin - Put up to entertain people (hopefully) - Marauders' third year - A jokey fic that's not really supposed to be taken seriously (or Siriusly) - Review please (:  
I own nothing expect my spotty-dotty notebooks and clicky pens. I still want Jamesie. _

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**We're off to see the Wizard - a Marauders oneshot fic**

**By Jo/Animal for Caitlin/Caketin**

_150 things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts:_

_78. Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege"._

_143. I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office._

"Awesome, Sirius!" James Potter clapped his friend on the back, grinning. "Now it's my turn…"

He raised his wand, and guided the stream of red paint coming from it over the Slytherin house point's hourglass. It didn't take long for the entire thing to have become completely scarlet, and as James muttered spells for the paint to dry quicker, they began to laugh. Groans and shouts of complaint came from below, as Remus and Peter struggled under their friends' weight.

"You two," Sirius said, grinning, "are the worst human ladders imaginable."

"You do realise that whether your limbs stay intact or not is in our hands, then?" Remus questioned.

"Okay, okay, you're not that bad!" Sirius raised his wand again, the start of a stream of gold paint blossoming from the tip.

The four boys were enjoying themselves so much that they didn't hear the footsteps behind them.

"Would Mister Lupin and Mister Pettigrew _please _be so kind as to lower Mister Potter and Mister Black to the floor and explain what they were doing?" Professor McGonagall's voice was cold, although they could hear a trace of amusement in it.

Grinning, Peter and Remus let go of their friends' legs, sending them tumbling to the stone floor of the Great Hall.

"Shi-" James began, earning himself a warning look from Professor McGonagall. "Merlin, Peter! You could've _put_ me down, couldn't you?"

Peter shrugged, grinning, more interested in what the other two boys were doing. When Remus had let go of Sirius' legs, they had both fallen, Sirius landing on top of Remus. Remus had tried to stand up, resulting in Sirius being kicked in the head. Sirius had then kicked Remus back, and the fight started. James and Peter stood laughing, and even Professor McGonagall smiled before turning on them.

"Lupin! Black! Refrain yourselves!"

They stood up, grinning sheepishly and shook hands: Sirius still jokingly glaring at Remus.

"Now," Professor McGonagall's lips tightened into a thin line. "Would you care to explain exactly _why_ you were painting all the house hourglasses red and gold?"

"Well, you see Professor, we thought we'd, um, remind everyone how Gryffindor just won the quidditch cup, and…" James shrugged, looking to the others for assistance.

"I'm quite sure the rest of the school is quite aware of the fact the Gryffindor won, Mister Potter. They do not need reminding in such an … obvious way."

"It was only a bit of fun, Professor."

"I do not care if you thought it was fun, Mister Black, I am quite positive that the rest of the school will not like it. And maybe for your own sake, it may be better if the Slytherins don't see it?"

The four boys nodded fervently, and the Professor smiled slightly.

"I suppose you know where I'm going to send you now, boys?"

"The kitchens?" Peter asked hopefully.

"No, Mister Pettigrew, I am going to send you to explain to Professor Dumbledore why he will have to ask Mister Filch to clean paint off the hourglasses."

All of the Marauders cracked identical grins. They had been waiting for this for, oh, a week now. They had kept trying to get sent to Dumbledore, but so far nothing they had done this term had been worthy of the honour. They had been practicing for the occasion ever since Sirius had begged a couple of second year girls to tell them about the muggle story 'the wizard of Oz'.

"Ready?" Sirius whispered as Professor McGonagall turned her back on them to lead them up to Professor Dumbledore's office.

The others nodded, and they all burst into song.

"_We're off to see the Wizard,  
__The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!  
__We hear he is a whiz of a wiz,  
__If ever a wiz there was!  
__If ever oh ever a wiz there was,  
__The Wizard of Oz is one because,  
__Because, because, because, because, because  
__Because of the wonderful things he does!  
__We're off to see the Wizard,  
__The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"_

Professor McGonagall turned sharply. "Boys!" she snapped, but there was nothing she could do to prevent them from singing all the way up to the Head's office.

As soon as the four students and the Professor reached the doors into the office, they opened, as if Dumbledore had been expecting them. He was sitting behind his desk, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

"You may go, Professor McGonagall," he said, smiling, "I am quite aware of what these boys have been up too." The tone of his voice was far from the cold firmness of Professor McGonagall's: it was warm and friendly, and it was obvious that he could see the funny side of what they had done.

"I have been informed by the house elves that you four have been flying the Gryffindor flag, you might say, on the house hourglasses," Dumbledore's bright blue gaze fixed itself on each Marauder in turn. "Is this true?"

Immediately, all for of them bent down on one knee and looked imploringly up at the Headmaster.

"Oh forgive us, My Liege!" James said in mock-desperation.

"We are always at your most humble service and we can assure you that there will be no such show of house pride from us again in the future!" Sirius continued.

"Although we do beg for the privilege of cheering at quidditch matches," Remus added.

"And not to have to be friends with the Slytherins," Peter said, causing the Headmaster to raise his eyebrows.

"I cannot force you to be friends with anyone, Mister Pettigrew," he said, smiling as Peter's face spread into a more relaxed grin. "And somehow, Mister Black, I highly doubt you will be able to keep that promise if I accept it." Sirius grinned sheepishly, and Dumbledore continued. "But of course you may cheer at quidditch matches. I'm sure Mister Potter would be most annoyed if his friends didn't cheer for him?" James nodded and smirked slightly. "Although I would like to remind him that my correct title is _Headmaster_ rather than _My Liege_, although I am most honoured to know you feel I deserve such a title."

The four boys laughed, and Dumbledore raised his hands to indicate they should stand up. "Now… onto the business of your punishments…"

They had known this was coming, but they didn't care. It would be worth it, whatever they had to do.

"I think helping Mister Filch to clear up the mess you made is a suitable reward for this prank?" Dumbledore suggested; smiling as the four boys nodded. It was a worthy punishment, and even with Filch there they could make it a laugh. "Now, off you go back to your common room. Where you can celebrate your quidditch win in a more reasonable manner."

He smiled and the four boys turned to leave the room.


End file.
